September 2011
3 posts
1 tag
Watch“Karma Police” written by Radiohead
I’m not sure if I can aptly put into words what music means to me. And by “music” I don’t even mean “songs” or “bands” but rather the notes themselves, the structures they fill out, the colors of intervals and spaces in between. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t picture every sound in...
September 10, 2001
I was working on my album during that time, stressing out over artwork and when it would be done. Everyone helping me with the album were friends working for free so I felt weird about rushing them (reason #1 why you should just hire people for projects and pay them money).
I had seen Radiohead in concert for the first time three weeks earlier, so they were a new obsession of mine. I was probably...
August 2011
2 posts
4 tags
When I was ten years old, I cared about politics
I was also a Republican.
1 tag
Is this heavy metal?
One time we were in the car (and I can only assume listening to one of my mixes) and Depeche Mode’s “People Are People” came on. There’s a recurring sound in the song resembling a metallic clank that I’m certain was created with a synthesizer but actually does sound like a hammer hitting a piece of metal. My dad listened for a minute or two and then after one of the...
July 2011
2 posts
1 tag
5 tags
Ladies: Let's Stop With All The Fucking Around...
Let’s stop kissing and fucking each other’s boyfriends, fiancés and husbands. Let’s stop asking for men’s numbers when we know they’re in relationships. Let’s stop treating men in positions of power like gods. Let’s stop flirting with in men in relationships. Let’s stop kissing men with girlfriends. Let’s stop blowing men with fiancées....
June 2011
7 posts
1 tag
I Tweeted a #FF For Some Gay Friends
This was in part a true #FF and in part a gesture of congratulations now that New York State has passed a bill that will allow gay people to marry people they love.
I left out poor, sweet, wonderful Will Choy from my tweet (and he was quick to remind me). I’ve since added an additional tweet with his name in it and then realized I had also left out a few other gay friends, and I was like,...
1 tag
Conversation with Fran
Fran: When is your birthday?
Me: In 15 days.
Fran: Wait, what day is your birthday?
Me: The 20th.
Fran: Today’s the 15th.
Me: Oh, I guess it’s in 5 days.
My brain no working too good lately.
My Boss Asked Me To Buy Snacks Today
And as I walked towards the 16th floor elevator at 4:30 pm, twenty dollar bill from my boss in hand, on my way to the deli across the street to fetch iced coffee and ice cream for my co-workers (as I am merely a part time receptionist, hence, the one who is delegated to do such things), I realized something that I realize now and then but today I realized it even more than usual:
Every...
2 tags
Why I Like Lady Gaga's New Album And How I Don't...
Hello.
My life has gone through a pretty significant change in the past month. I ended a 4-year relationship. It didn’t end well. I’m still very sad about it. But that’s all I’m going to write about that, because I don’t want to write anything I might later regret, and I feel like, if given the opportunity to get going, I will write something I will later regret. So...
My Thoughts About Attractive Men
Whenever I see an attractive man these days, this is pretty much what goes through my head in the span of about three seconds:
1) He is attractive.
2) He looks like he’s straight.
3) He’d find me attractive.
4) We’ll start dating.
5) Things will be good for a bit.
6) He’ll end up severely disappointing me.
7) We’ll break up.
And after only three seconds, I...
May 2011
2 posts
To The Black Man In A Fedora
Dear Black Man In A Fedora,
First of all, the only reason I am stating your race and choice of hatwear is that those are the only two physical things I remember about you, and I want you to be sure that YOU are person I am talking about. Yes, you. There are other black men and other men who wear fedoras who are lovely, smart, wonderful people. Let me give you some more specifics about who you...
Opa
Last Friday, my grandfather died. It happened in the midst of some painful personal issues I’ve been having to deal with and, especially since there was and will be no funeral, I haven’t been able to properly mourn him. So I wanted to write about him here. He lived to be 89 and was my last surviving grandparent.
Although my parents will tell you he was already gone. He’d been suffering from...
April 2011
3 posts
4 tags
1 tag
In Case You Haven't Seen "Glitter"
There is a scene in it where Mariah’s character and her ex-boyfriend are sitting in different parts of the city thinking about each other and they each pick up a pencil and simultaneously write the same song. And it’s only the 8th most ridiculous scene in the film.
1 tag
This Is Why I Go To Planned Parenthood
I will be the first person to admit that I don’t follow political news all that closely. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s due in part to my unsuccessful bid for 9th Grade Senator at Northport High School—where several “Senators” were elected and I was not one of them—which immediately ceased any desire I had to become The First Woman President of the United...
March 2011
2 posts
Titles of Sketches I Wrote That Never Made It To...
I am going through old things to throw away like sketches on paper that I already have on my computer so it’s kind of dumb to save them. I decided to take some time out of actually doing something productive to write this post.
These were written for Maude Night but didn’t “make the cut” (the Eric Stoltz one came SO CLOSE):
Scary Man At Lane Bryant
Sad Coffin Saleslady
...
3 tags
3 tags
Mashup request #1
“Dancing With Myself” + “Silent All These Years.”
As far as I know, this mashup doesn’t exist outside of me performing it in my living room.
I like to live-mashup songs by singing/playing keyboard on one song while listening to a different song. I do this because I like mashups but I lack the technical skills to make them inside a computer and have them be...
February 2011
6 posts
3 tags
The Slip (of paper with the winner's name, which...
I’ve noticed that every time Trent Reznor wins a Golden Globe or Academy Award, everyone likes to tweet about it while quoting a Nine Inch Nails song. For example:
Trent won this award like an animal!
Trent wants to f#@& this Golden Globe like an animal!
I want an animal to f#@& Trent with his Oscar!
Trent won! This is truth and not a TERRIBLE LIE!
These are pretty great tweets,...
INT: BOARDROOM
HEAD AD EXEC: We need to figure out how to advertise this McDonalds frothy coffee drink!
AD EXEC 1: What if we focused on its unique taste?
HEAD AD EXEC: Nah.
AD EXEC 2: What if we likened it to relaxation?
HEAD AD EXEC: Boring.
AD EXEC 3: What if we have a hand dancing couple tapping their hands and fingers in unison on a table in McDonalds while sipping their drinks and people around them...
My little sister is a mom
That wasn’t something I’d ever been able to write before last Thursday, because before last Thursday, it had never been true. But it is now. My little* sister gave birth to a boy and now she’s a mom!
It doesn’t surprise me that Shana, the second of four girls, is the first of us to become a mom. She’s always been a sweet person. She’s sensitive. She laughs...
Oh, hello again
It’s been almost two years since I’ve updated this tumblr!
I initially created this tumblr (my first of three) as a place to put my filmed sketches and web videos and acting things.
But in the past couple of years I’ve stopped making videos and begun making photographs. So I started a photo tumblr which has been my primary way of tumblring. I also began a music tumblr where my...
April 2009
3 posts
Watch“Real Phone Sex” — written by me and featuring me & Marcus Bishop-Wright, directed by Will Hines. Performed at UCB Maude Night.
Watch“Secret Santa” — written by me and featuring me and members of mixtape ‘98, plus John Ward and my mom Joan Taber (making her UCB stage debut). Performed at O Holy Maude Night, the UCB Maude Night holiday show.
Credits: http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/3751
December 2008
2 posts
Watch“Actors” — written by and featuring me (as the straight man) and directed by Will Hines. Performed at UCB Maude Night.
Credits: http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/3395
Watch“New Theme Writer” — written by Chris Wilkes, directed by Greg Tuculescu. Performed at UCB Maude Night. (I play the crazy theme song writer.)
October 2008
3 posts
WatchTheme Song for “Life Frite” — written by Crystal Delahanty, directed by Will Hines. Crystal provided the lyrics, I recorded the music & vocals for this “Lite Brite” commercial parody for UCB Comedy.