Why I Like Lady Gaga’s New Album And How I Don’t Feel Embarrassed About That

Hello.

My life has gone through a pretty significant change in the past month. I ended a 4-year relationship. It didn’t end well. I’m still very sad about it. But that’s all I’m going to write about that, because I don’t want to write anything I might later regret, and I feel like, if given the opportunity to get going, I will write something I will later regret. So I’d rather keep it all dignified-like and not write anything about it other than what I just did.

I want to write about Lady Gaga’s new album.

The first time I saw her on TV, I think it was 2008 and she was performing “Just Dance” on a show, and, knowing nothing about her other than what I was seeing, I said to my sister, “I feel like if Madonna were just starting out today, this is what she’d be doing.” So, looking back, I think I was kind of right, right?

I wasn’t supposed to like Lady Gaga. I’m not really into modern pop music. I’m not into much of any modern music. I tend to stick with what I know and what I know is music that was released between 1980 and 1995, with a concentration on late 80s goth bands and mid 90s Lilith Fair headliners. I have 12 Pandora stations and 8 of them are 80’s related. I don’t know, I like things I know. Sorry, you fucking hipsters.

At first Lady G seemed like another dance pop artist, maybe slightly cooler than Rihanna or Katy Perry or somebody I might glance at on TV for a second and then go back to looking at Twitter. At some point I caught her 2006 “Stefani Germanotta Band” at The Bitter End performance online — a place I used to perform at when I was a singer/songwriter — and realized, oh, she plays piano. Then I started paying closer attention and realized, oh, she has a good voice. Then it was, oh, she can write a good song. Then, oh, she gets how to “be a star.” I find her funny and interesting. So I like her. Sorry again, hipsters, fucking sue me with the money you get from selling your vegan brownies, okay??!!

So a couple weeks ago her new album Born This Way came out and I bought it. It was right around the time I was feeling really bad. Like, crying at commercials bad. And I started listening to it on my commute. I liked it. As far as comparisons to Madonna, I get that, but I don’t know why I’m not hearing more about comparisons to Pat Benatar or Heart because I hear more of the latter two in her current music than I do Madonna. Gaga put a fucking ridiculous sax solo in one song. She speaks faux-German in another song called “Scheiße” which is a German word for “shit” that my mom used to say all the time when I was a kid. She has a song called “Government Hooker.” I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE THIS. BUT I DO.

Also, as someone who pays attention to this sort of nerdy thing, I really like her song structures. Nobody else structures songs like she does. She is very, very good at structure, which I think is one of the keys to getting people to pay attention to a song, a kind of subliminal way of holding interest. She is both precise and messy. Her voice is crazy good. The chord progressions are simple enough to make a good pop song and unpredictable enough to keep your ears on their toes (CAN YOU IMAGINE IF EARS HAD TOES, GUYS???).

But I didn’t want to do an album review. I’d rather write about how it makes me feel. And it makes me feel good. It makes me feel strong and fun and empowered and creative. It makes me feel confident. It makes me feel like I can do whatever I want.

It makes me feel happy.

The following lyrics—the opening lyrics to the album—have brought me to tears:

I’m gonna marry the night 
I won’t give up on my life 
I’m a warrior queen 
Live passionately tonight 

I’m gonna marry the dark 
Gonna make love to the stark 
I’m a soldier to my own emptiness 
I am a winner 

I’m gonna marry the night 
I’m gonna marry the night 
Gonna marry the night 

I’m gonna marry the night 
I’m not gonna cry anymore 
I’m gonna marry the night 
Leave nothin’ on these streets to explore 

I TOLD YOU, I will cry at almost anything these days!

Anyway, I just wanted to write a little something about what I’ve been up to.

So, HUMP DAY, AM I oh I already said that? Okay, sorry.